Day 67: Catch-up

Hello there sugarplum.

I promised to update you on my Christmas as a vegetarian.  Today is the day!

What I learned during the festive period is that if you stop eating animals, they will start eating you…

Don’t worry, I managed to fight the crocs off — my legs are still intact.

A popular question that I have been asked by many people has been: “What did you have as a meat alternative for Christmas dinner?”.  Well, I didn’t.  With it being Christmas, I wanted to avoid causing a fuss or making chef (papa) go to any extra effort.  So, I probably ate every thing that you did, minus the animals.  I did not miss meat at all, as I sat there munching delicious roasted parsnips.  I was not tempted by the poor little pigs, who sat in their cosy blankets.  I felt sorry for the poor turkey, who will never gobble again.  I did try sprouts again for the first time since I was force-fed them at nursery. Eating 1/4 of the miniature ball of cabbage taught me that I still do not like them.

New Years Day had a lot more to offer for the veggie. It was time for a buffet and Marks & Spencer came up with the goods.  Good old M&S have a new marvellously extensive vegetarian range.  I would highly recommend it to you all — veggie or not veggie.  (I should be getting paid for this advertising!)

I feel that now would be a good time to make a confession.  During 67 days of being a vegetarian, I have not made a single veggie meal from scratch.  I am ashamed to admit that  I have spent 67 days heating foods such as Quorn.  My resolution is to cook more — this has gone as far as buying a recipe book.  Hopefully, I will make some progress next week.  Please note, I say ‘hopefully’ because the only kitchenware I have with me at university is one plate, one bowl, two saucers, a fork and a spoon.  Oh, and some glasses. Nigella I am not.  I can bake, but baking for oneself would be a recipe for disaster (and obesity).

For any of you missing Leo (, he had a lovely Christmas.  Unfortunately, Leo is not a vegetarian and thus he had a full Christmas dinner.  He received his own tree decoration and some special mince pies.  Puppy gets bigger each time I see him, but he is still as cute and as cheeky as ever.  Here are some of our winter adventures…

Well, that is more than enough of those festivities.  I have filled you in on what you have missed, so I will let you go.

Goodbye for now.

The Silly Asparagus.


Day 8: Puppy Love

Hello sweet cheeks,

As you may already know, my decision to become a vegetarian was a spontaneous one.  However, within the last week, I have found so many good reasons to continue being an asparagus.  I’m going to get the sentimental reasons out of the way first.  This post is based purely on my own feelings.  Yes, you might view some sentences at hyperbolic.  I am not playing the puppy card to try and make anyone feel guilty about their own choices.

I would like to introduce you to Leo:

Today Leo is celebrating his four-months-and-nineteen days birthday.  Isn’t he cute? I have a tendency to talk about Leo as if he is my child.  Before this little rascal came along, I wasn’t fond of animals.  I have always liked the cold-blooded kind, but there was no way that mother asparagus would let a snake in the house.  I wasn’t even allowed the baby gecko, that was offered to me by my school librarian for a bargain £10!  Since Leo has arrived in to my life, I have become, dare I say it? An animal person.  I am now one of those people who will converse with dog-owners about puppy training tips.  A trip to Pets at Home has become just as exciting as trips to Toys R’ Us had been when I was small.

Leo does the funniest things, he is even sillier than the very silly asparagus.  I am so proud of him when he gives paw in order to get  a treat.  He will sit on the kerb before crossing the road to make sure nothing is coming.  My heart melts when he runs towards me, lays down on my feet and looks at me with those mismatched eyes until I give him a belly-rub.  Leo is better than people at making friends.  He met a miniature Schnauzer one day, called Lottie.  It was love at first sight for the pair.  Again, I stood like a proud parent as Leo played with Lottie.  It was like a child fitting in well on their first day of school.  There are times when Leo could do with eating a mint, the times he has laddered my tights and pulled threads from my clothes.  But I love him.  I don’t want to get too emotional, but I did not think that I had the capacity to love some thing this much, that was not human (except for Chanel of course, darling).  If I love Leo, then why should I not love all animals?

Imagine if it was acceptable to eat dogs.  Leo would be put in a tiny cage, he would be living in his own faeces.  He would be fed food pumped full of medicine and growth hormornes until he was fat enough for people to eat him.  Before being eaten, he may have been skinned alive so that the fur industry could have his glossy coat without any damages to it.  One certainly wouldn’t want bullet holes or blood stains tarnishing the pelt.  Leo would then be hung upside down, and split down his tummy, all of his blood pouring onto the floor of the slaughterhouse.  Off Leo goes to the butcher, where he is cut in to sections and ready to be sold.  Who wants the liver?  How about a leg of Leo?  More of a breast man are we, sir?

Writing the above has made me feel a bit sick.  But since becoming a vegetarian, I can no longer look at meat and see food.  Instead, I see the life and death cycle of the animal.  Cows may not give paw, but they are still living breathing creatures.  Watching lambs frolicking on a field is just as heart-warming as cuddling Leo.  850 million animals and hundreds of millions of fish are slaughtered in the UK alone.  Some people might feel that comparing a puppy to a cow is wrong, that there is no comparison.  But, they are all animals.  And I do not want to eat any of them.

This issue of course leads to other horrors that people subject animals too.  During the course of the week I will also look at animal testing and the role animals play in the clothing industry.

With animal love,

The sentimental asparagus and Leo.